52 Dental Squadron Picnic

All the way back to the beginning of July the 52nd Dental Squadron hosted a picnic for all the service members and their families. 

In the Air Force there is a tradition of "Hail and Farewell".  This is an opportunity for command to welcome in the newcomers to the unit and also to say goodbye to those moving on.  It has been our experience (on large bases) that this is more of an announcement or FYI situation.  Not on Spangdahlem though.  Nope here you are introduced by your sponsor and then you get to say a few words.  Usually this takes the form of where your last duty station was, where you will be working, and your family.  Well, between both our sponsor, Jake Atwood (who we have known for 10 years), and Doug our family was not introduced like the others.  So in my typical mild way, I speak up introducing myself and the boys with the closing remark that we are the family that Doug is "so proud of".  Needless to say I made an impression.  Not only on co-workers but also commanders.  I am still being referred to as the wife that introduced herself. 

   

There were lots of activities to participate in but my favorite was seeing the boys suit up in Sumo wrestling gear meant for adults and try to take each other down.  I may have to invest in a set.

Dan trying to get the gloves on

Nate can't see without his glasses with his wig/head gear falling down

Saying Goodbye

One of the hardest parts of moving (besides going through every item you own, trying to find somewhere to live, and take care of a list of details that would make your head spin) is saying goodbye.

First was a dinner with Doug's flight. There are three dentists PCSing from his flight this summer, so it was a big party.  We enjoyed good food and fun people. At the end of the night Doug was presented with a plaque from his flight. 

Our last Sunday at the 6th Ward I had to take pictures with all my Nusery babies. I so miss their smiling faces.  Truly one of the best calling in the church is being a nursery worker. I'm going to campaign big time for that calling in our new ward. 

We also went to dinner with the Gyser's.  Wonderful Mexican food and wonderful people. I know we will miss Saskia and Russ.

Our last few days in the States we spent with family in Az. The stars aligned that we were able to see Jymie, Vash, and Ryhla on the last day of their vacation.   We even got to sing happy birthday to Vash. 

We also got to be there to celebrate Papa's birthday. German Chocolate Cake for all.

Dinner with the Holmes' was a festive event as we celebrated Bryant's birthday. (Sorry about the lack of present but we figured our presence was enough).  Picture with all the Az Holmes Cousins was done. 

We felt like we were able to leave seeing everyone one last time. 

On Our Way to Germany

The month of May we were busy getting ready to move to Germany.  Tons and tons of things need to be accomplished before we left.

Passports were applied for and obtained.

We dropped off Vicki (the Sequoia) at the "port" in Dallas so she could be shipped to Germany.  I really miss my car.

Then it was time to separate, clean out, and inventory all of our household goods.  

Then it was move day.  Love that we don't have to carry anything out of my house (or for that matter, into my house in Germany). 

Matt is going to be Published

Matt was encouraged by his Teacher's Adviser, Bro. Russel Wilcox, to write an article for The Friend.  With Bro. Wilcox's help his article was accepted and will some day be published.

The Day my Dad was Deployed

by Matthew Holmes

Based on a True Story

My dad serves in the air force and it's normally pretty great.  One day, however, he came home from work and told us he was going to be deployed.  I was so sad and couldn't imagine having him gone for six whole months.  On tops of that I was worried that he would miss my 12th birthday and that he wouldn't be able to give me the Aaronic priesthood.  My birthday is October 12th and my dad said he knew God was watching over our family because he wasn't going to be deployed until November and he would be home for my birthday to give me the priesthood.

As my birthday got closer my dad got a letter from the Air Force informing him that they had moved his deployment up to October 11th, the day before my birthday.  I couldn't believe my horrible luck.  We spent the entire day on the telephone trying to call people in the Air Force to see if we could change his deployment back to the original date and trying to call our Bishop to see if there was any way to ordain me a day before my birthday.  Nothing was working out.  I stated to feel a little angry at God.  i was almost in tears when I went to bed that night.  Finally my dad came into my room and told me he'd been praying and knew that God would provide a way for thing to work out so he could still give me the priesthood.  He asked me to pray and trust that God, who could do all things, would find a way to make this happen.

I prayed every morning and every night for my dad to be able to give me the priesthood and as October 11th got closer I started to wonder if God was hearing my prayers.  My dad was still scheduled to leave.  Then few days before my dad left, my parents found out that his leaders in the Air Force planned to send him to a special training before  deploying him overseas.  My parents hurried and found out when the training was scheduled to end so they could get a ticket for dad to fly home right after the training.  Still, they were not sure if his leaders would let him come home.  I kept praying.

When my dad left on October 11th he hugged me and whispered in my ear that he knew God would provide a way for him to give me the priesthood before being deployed.  When he arrived at the training he received the word that he would be allowed to come home the weekend the training finished as long as everyone in the training finished it on time.

As the training started things weren't looking so good because some of the men weren't taking the training seriously.  My whole family prayed and fasted together and God answered our prayers because the men changed their attitudes and the training finished on time.  My dad was able to come home the weekend after my birthday and ordained me to be a Deacon.  it was the best day ever and even though the next six months were hard without my dad they easier because i had the priesthood and I knew that God cared about our family.  He heard and answered my prayer.

Tooting My Own Horn

I really don't like making a big deal about what I do.  I think if you love what you do you have reward enough, but this last month the commander of the Dental Group wanted to nominate me for the Key Spouse of the Year award for the 59th Medical Wing.  Who knew that such an honor would be so much work.  First I needed to put together a list of everything I have done in the last year in my Key Spouse position along with my community work.  So this is what I came up with:

Key Spouse Bullet Points

·         59^th Medical Wing Key Spouse appointment January 2012

o   POC for 6500 Military Families

o   Brief  Monthly at 59^th MDW Newcomer Briefing to an average of 200 Airman & Civilians

o   Brief Weekly at 59^th MDW Deployment Readiness Information  (DRIFT) to an average of 20 Airman

o   Contact 500+ pre-deployed/deployed military families every 6 weeks during respective deployments

o   Attend and Inform an average of 50 families at Deployment Picnic Semi Annually

o   Brief at Squadron Commanders Calls and Command Meetings throughout the 59^th MDW

o   Keep families informed of events and programs through starting  and daily updating  the 59^th MDW Key Spouse Facebook Page

o   Hold Quarterly 59^th MDW Key Spouse training meetings for 15 Key Spouses to include Privacy Act of 1974, suicide awareness, community resources, base programs

o   Attend monthly JBSA-Lackland Key Spouse meetings for continued education on current Air Force and command trends /issues

o   Maintain Deployed Family Contact Information for 1500+ yearly

o   Meet regularly with Command Chief James and Key Spouse Mentor Debbie Hepburn for direction

o   Attended  and informed 120 families at the 59^th MDW Resident Welcome Dinner

o   Attend and inform an average of 30 families at Deployed Family Night Out Semi Annually

o   Staffed Key Spouse Office for 200 hours in 2012

o   12 hours of Key Spouse training through Airman and Family Readiness including  Key Spouse program course, Privacy Act of 1974, suicide awareness, and Heart Link Orientation

• Provided support and ensured proper counseling to post deployment spouse dealing with reunion and reintegration issues
• Oversaw efforts to support deployed spouse dealing with a son with special needs insuring members ability to maintain deployment
• Ensured support for family effected by house fire by soliciting donations from families throughout the MDW
• Coordinated donations from Big Brothers Big Sisters of South Texas, USO of San Antonio, and Operation Military Kids to provide Care Packages for 200 military children attending Operation Jet
• Provided support and information to newcomer family with medical needs daughter to ensure continuity of care 

·         59^th Dental Group Key Spouse appointment May 2010

o   POC for 450 Military Families

o   Brief Monthly at 59^th DG Newcomer Briefing an average of 20 Airman

o   Brief at DG Commander Calls

o   Contact 75 Newcomer Families

o   Attend Dental Activity Committee Meetings

o   Meet Monthly with Col. Graver for direction

o   Contact 5 deployed families monthly during respective deployments

o   Coordinate meals for post-partum deployed family

o   Educated member on civilian career opportunities

·         Member of the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Southern Texas  Military Advisory Committee

o   Attended and informed families at the Fiesta De Ninos

o   Assisted in recruiting 80 military children as “Little Brother/Sisters”

o   Assisted in recruiting 50 military members as “Big Brothers/Sisters”

o   Attend Monthly Committee Meetings

o   Liaison for Big Brothers Big Sisters to military families

·         Member of the Wilford Hall Auxiliary Board

o   Attend Monthly Board Meetings

o   Coordinated Reunion/Reintegration presenters for Deployed Family Night Out

·         Boy Scout of America Troop 620 Board Member

o   Advancement Chair

o   Coordinate Monthly Board of Reviews for 2-5 Scouts

o   Coordinate Quarterly Award Presentations

o   Attend Monthly Board Meetings

o   Track 30 Scout’s Advancements

o   Maintain Computerized Achievement Program

o   Maintain Troop Information Website

o   Boy Scouts of America Youth Protection Trained

·         Boy Scout of America Pack 620 Board Member

o   Advancement Chair

o   Attend Monthly Board Meeting

o   Plan Monthly Pack Meeting

o   Track 15 Cub Scout Advancements

o   Maintain Computerized Achievement Program

o   Walking Den Leader during Cub Scout Day Camp

o   Substitute Cub Master

 I also needed to come up with a biography to be read if/when I receive the award.

Bio

Mrs. Kristen M. Holmes is the 59^th Medical Wing Key Spouse and the 59^th Dental Group Key Spouse for Joint Base San Antonio, Texas.  Mrs. Holmes was born in Provo, UT on February 3, 1978.  She is the eldest of four children born to Dr. Douglas & Mrs. Cheryl Smith.  As a senior at Mountain View High School she was asked to represent the state of Arizona at the national convention for the Future Homemakers of America – Home Economics Related Occupations (FHA-HERO) for her community service.  Over the last 15 years Mrs. Holmes has served as a youth leader, women’s organization activities coordinator, Sunday school teacher, and volunteer coordinator in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  She is active in the Boy Scouts of America at both the Cub Scout and Boy Scout level.   She has served as den leader, Cub Master, committee member, and advancement coordinator.   Mrs. Holmes currently is a member of the Big Brothers Big Sisters of South Texas Military Advisory Committee (MAC) whose mission is to partner military children with mentors.  Mrs. Holmes also serves as the Key Spouse Representative on the Wilford Hall Auxiliary Board.  Kristen considers her greatest accomplishments those of being wife to a United States Airman, Maj. Douglas C. Holmes (s) DMD and mother to three young men.  

Last but not least was the official photo.  This is the part I liked the least but it is done now.

Now we just wait to hear if I got the Wing award.  From there my "package" goes to the Base level, then to the Major Command level, and if I'm really unlucky to the Air Force Command level.  No good deed goes unpunished.  

On the Move Again

Doug received orders for our upcoming move this June.  We are off to Spangdahlem, Germany for three years. 

Although moving to a different country is almost overwhelming in the amount of work that needs to be done we are really looking forward to all the opportunities that this move is going to give us.  So save your pennies to come visit us!!!!

Congratulations

 2011 Air Education and Training Command Clinical Dentist of the Year

Yep, long title for an award but Doug got it.  In January, we found out that he was up for the 2011 Company Grade Officer (CGO) of the Year for the 59th Medical Wing.  This means he was already awarded the 2011 Dental Group CGO of the Year.  There was a big event for the awarding of the 59th Medical Wing CGO of the Year.  Doug was sooooo excited to have to buy his Mess Dress, but he sure looks good in it.

Doug and the 59th Dental Squadron Commanding Officer Col. Hebert

And you can't escort an officer in mess dress without a formal yourself.

Homecoming

HE IS HOME!!!!!

Ok, Doug has been home since May 3rd but can you blame me for not updating the blog when I could be doing much more interesting things like staring at him, taking him with me on every boring chore, and basking in all his at-homeness. 

Let's see if we can make a long story a little shorter.  I had a tentative arrival date of May 4th with the understanding that this was probably not going to happen so I kept it to myself.  On the morning of the 1st I received an e-mail stating that he was in Kuwait waiting to move out to Germany.  Tears of happiness were mine when I realized that he was out of Iraq and on the move.  Again I kept it to myself as he could be delayed anywhere along the way.  Later that day I received another e-mail saying that he was in Germany.  Again, tears.  I e-mailed back to tell him that once he reached US soil he was to call me. 

May 2nd I had a doctor's appointment when I received a call on my cell phone (I had been sleeping with the thing for days).  Now I feel that taking calls when you are interacting with others is just rude, but for this call I asked forgiveness for being rude and told my doctor that I had been waiting for this call for seven months.  I couldn't get the hello out before I was crying.  Doug was on the other end of the phone saying that he was in Baltimore and would be on the plane the next day that would bring him finally home.  He had to stop to ask me if I was driving because I was crying so much and he was concerned.  I assured him that I was safely sitting with my doctor making him very uncomfortable with my blubbering.

 As I picked the boys up from school I was able to tell them that their Dad would be home the next day.  Oh the excitement.  We cleaned house, made posters, picked out clothes to wear, and planned a special welcome home meal.  We were ready.  Until of course Doug was 30 minutes early getting into the airport.  As we ran (literally ran) through the airport to meet him, I couldn't believe that my well laid plans to meet him at the gate had been foiled by the efficiency of the airline.  (Who knew????)  But at the end of the day Doug was home where he belongs.

You can hear the happiness in Dan's voice in this video he made.

Deployed Family Activity

One of the reasons we decided to stay in San Antonio during Doug's deployment was the great support that the Air Force has for deployed families.  While he has been gone we have received calls from commanders, holiday baskets from his unit, dinner with other deployed families from the base, and a great family night out.  These are just a few of the activities and outreaches available to families of deployed members. 

The last event we got to participate in before Doug got home was a "Jump It Out" night at Pump It Up. 

The Willford Hall Auxiliary (non-profit support group) sponsored the event and great fun was had by all.



Key Spouse

Most of the time I would rather write about all my boys and leave to imagination the role I play.  (Let's be honest, it's not that exciting anyway.)  But lately I have had some really neat experiences that would be a shame not to record.  Last May I was asked to be the Key Spouse for the 59th Dental Group.  (In non-military terms that means I am Relief Society President for about 500 families and airmen.)  I was honored and a little worried since I have little to no Air Force experience, but I jumped in with training, meetings, and events.  Needless to say it has been an interesting process to get the program running.

To give a little background information, the Key Spouse program is a official commander run program that was rolled out in 2010 for the Air Force Year of the Family.  It recognizes the need for strong, resilient Air Force families and it's purpose is to breach to command/family gap by way of a volunteer (i.e. Key Spouse).  I attend command meetings, recognition ceremonies, family events, while also trying to stay in contact with our Dental Group families.  The last part of my mission has been a little difficult to non-existent but the outlook is positive for the future.  I also am tasked with keeping in contact with our deployed families and helping command support them.  (Did you see all that official jargon?  I am really proud of myself.)

Since becoming Key Spouse, I have been able to attend some really great events and meet some amazing people.  Along with all the Wing Key Spouses, I have been invited to dinner at the Wing Commander's house to meet General Hepburn and his lovely wife.  This last week I, again along with the Base Key Spouses, were invited to attend the Inaugural Key Spouse Forum.  We were treated to a briefing by the 37th Training Wing , attending Basic Military Training Graduation, received a personal tour of the one of the training squadrons, and got to enjoy lunch while discussing the mission  of the Key Spouse program with command from all the local Wings.  I am slowly becoming more comfortable meeting with such high ranking commanders, but still feel like a fish out of water.  Hopefully, I will be able to do my job effectively and support our Air Force families in the way they deserve.



State of the Douglas Address 2011

Hello all. In the tradition of this time of year, I’ve decided to send out a State of the Douglas Address. Now, for those that are worried this will become a political speech, do not fret. I just figure since I’ve continued my lifelong tradition of doing a poor job of keeping in touch this is to let everyone know how things are going. Of course, in today’s always-connected world it begs the question, why haven’t you been paying attention to Facebook?

So, how’s Iraq, you ask? Well, we’ll get there. But first, let’s look at how I got here. Way back in October, I flew to the City of Brotherly Love and then hopped a shuttle to the Garden State in order to spend the next 10 days at Fort Dix learning everything necessary to survive in any combat situation possible. Okay, fine, it was to learn enough basic combat skills so as not to embarrass myself while around those that DO know everything necessary to survive any combat situation. We all worked hard and learned a lot, sometimes painfully. Like the day we spent on Urban Ops and my fire team somehow left their #4 rear sweep man out in the street with the bad buys. Yep, I was the number 4 man. I mean, really?!! When you’re one of four, you only need to remember 3 others and you forget the one guarding your back – poor form. Needless to say I was captured by the insurgents. During our debrief everyone thought they did really well until the insurgents (our Cadre) brought me out at gunpoint. Good thing they were paint guns. Yep, they still didn’t realize I was gone – ah, yes, the fog of war bit us hard! The Cadre therefore gave us the opportunity to enjoy a “morale march” in true Groucho Marx style in full battle rattle – makes the thighs burn!

We seemed to learn well from our mistakes and on the last day our flight was one of the top teams during the final full-on simulation. After graduation, I snuck home for a couple of days so I could enjoy time with family and, most importantly, ordain Matt to the Priesthood. Matt had turned 12 two days after I left for my training. Then it was back to New Jersey to wait several days for a flight to Norfolk, where I got to wait for several more days. There’s not much worse than being alone on a naval base over a long holiday weekend with no transportation. Mind-numbingly boring doesn’t come close. Thankfully my brother Tyler and his family were able to visit from Raleigh. We spent time at the docks looking at some big boats, watching the newest carrier, the USS George Bush, being parked next to the oldest carrier, the USS Enterprise. Time was spent hanging out and holding hands with my rambunctious nephews and the visit ended with Tyler and I making holes in targets with handguns. Overall, not a bad way to sit and do nothing – thanks younger Bro!

I finally left on a jet plane with 400 of my, um, closest friends and made an uncomfortable midnight flight to Sheffield, Ireland at which time we were all invited to disembark and go through customs. All 400 of us. And yes, we had to take off our boots, just to sit in a rather large waiting area which luckily had WiFi capabilities. The only problem was it had no capabilities to support 400 soldiers trying to connect at the same time. Oh, well, just another uncomfortable 4 hours waiting, and then squished back into the plane for the long flight to Qatar. Landed about midnight, processed in and couldn’t sleep, despite having been up for well over 36 hours. So, I grabbed the laptop and enjoyed the amazing night time desert smell while chatting with Kristen. A couple days rest, another uncomfortable flight in a C130 with more passengers than seats and SrA Tamisha Glenn fetched me out of my holding room in Baghdad, Iraq.

Now, to answer the question, how’s Iraq? Right now it’s cold, wet and muddy – winter is the rainy season. For those that want to know what I’m doing here, I’ll be brief. Actually, I have to be brief since I can’t tell you too much. My official job is to train, advise and assist the Iraqi dentists that support the Iraqi Special Forces. Unfortunately for me, we’ve been doing this for several years and I’ve had some wonderful predecessors that have taken a run-down facility with eager but poorly equipped and trained dentists and have turned it into perhaps the highest tech facility with the best trained Iraqi staff in the country. There’s not a lot for me to do, which isn’t helped by my natural inability to be a good-idea-dude and general lack of administration skills. However, we’re doing the best possible, I’m learning a lot and enjoying the experience. I also spend a few hours each week working on American soldiers at the American Dental Clinic. It actually seems like I end up working with my Medical Advisor counterpart more often than not – who knew gunshot wounds (in Iraqi soldiers) could be so much fun! My favorite was the one that entered at the back of the neck and exited his chin. I got to diagnose and emergent treat a broken jaw. Opps, I mean train, advise and assist the Iraqis on how to treat a broken jaw. It’s definitely expanding my medical knowledge and training. Unfortunately, that’s about all I can tell you about what, where, how and why we do.

I’m able to attend church here weekly. Although we have enough on this base to form a branch, because of its physical size, we’re split into a couple of groups. Apparently not everyone has exclusive use of a brand new Ford F150 Crew Cab to make the 15 minute drive to church. We have about 10-15 members each week, depending on missions, with about half from one Guard Unit from Utah that works in my area. Who’d have guessed, a bunch of reservist military from Utah are Mormon!

One of the bad things about being here this time of year is I’m missing out on all the “free” vacation time, especially since we work 7 days a week with Friday being a “slow-down” day. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and now MLK. At least all the activities provided by the military, USO and Iraqi leadership do a good job of entertaining and reminding us were 7000 miles away from family and friends. For a while it seemed like every week there was yet another famous performer or group passing though. Robin Williams, Tops in Blue, Joan Jett, Lance Armstrong, Hooter’s girls, and the list goes on. I wasn’t able to make it to many shows (see work schedule above) but it’s greatly appreciated.

One thing we do often is go out to the range and shoot some seriously cool weapons, and I’m not talking about just the regular military issue M9 and M4/M16 either. Things like the 240 Bravo, SAW, silenced MP9, hand-held mortar launcher, and my favorite thus far would have to be the HMMWV (hum-vee) mounted mini-gun. Oh, yea, 3000 rounds per minute, with tracers. Not to worry, video was taken and will be shown when I return, complete with my goofy grin – sorry, I can’t send it electronically.

Perhaps the most rewarding event was when I helped out during a Wounded Warriors event. This is a program to help the healing process and re-integration of wounded soldiers. 7 American soldiers that left Iraq on their backs with various life-threatening injuries and flown out of Iraqi strapped to a medical bird were brought back by the non-profit organization Wounded Warriors Project, in coordination with the military. They were all amazing guys and fun to be around. During their time with us, they were shown a couple of amazing demonstrations then the guys took them out to the range and let them “blow s--- up” for an hour. You should’ve seen the smiles, and not just from the Wounded Warriors!

Let’s see, I guess I would be remiss in not recounting my tale of stupidity. So, for New Year’s Day, some JAGs, the Medical Advisor and I went to hit golf balls into a lake from the roof of one of Saddam’s palaces. No, that’s not the stupid part. While there, I was invited to run with them at the Disney half-marathon - in a week. I laughed and said ‘Sure, why not?’ After all, I’ve been doing my little P90X workout every day and haven’t run a step since September, what could possibly go wrong? Thus begins the stupidity. Why does my brain keep thinking I’m 20 when my body constantly reminds me I’m, um, no longer 20? So, I start the 13.1 mile slog with about 500 other insane people and about 5 miles in I start thinking, hey, this isn’t so bad even if my hamstring won’t loosen up. Then my left knee decided to start ache. At mile 6 I realized I was slowing down because it no longer ached. My knee hurt. I started to do the walk/run thing for about 2 miles and when even that started to hurt, I walked for a mile, ran about 800 meters and had to walk another mile, tried again and got about 100 feet and my knee pretty much gave out. I ended up walking/limping the rest of the event and couldn’t walk straight for several days. Luckily I did no permanent damage to my knee; it was just aggravated from a very minor patella plica (synovial fold behind the kneecap). Just to top off my shame of walking nearly half the event, one of the JAG we golfed with beat all the Ugandans and won the event outright. So now I’m thinking of how to avenge my stupidity, by properly running a half-marathon. I just need to work on my knee’s endurance and actually stretching beforehand. Yep, I think this is what’s called Pride before the Fall. I’m sure this cannot end well.

If you’ve stuck with me this long without switching channels, you are to be congratulated. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year’s. I think I speak for all of those deployed when I say your support, letters, e-mails, Facebook messages and news from home are greatly appreciated. While watching your favorite Super Bowl commercial this year, please raise a cold, frosty mug of root beer for all our deployed troops, and know I’m excited to see what Valentino Rossi does on the Ducati but I hope home-town Texan Ben Spies hands him his butt on the Yamaha!

//SIGNED//

Capt Douglas Holmes

SOITT Dental Advisor, Baghdad, Iraq

Douglas' Athletics

On New Years Day Doug along with a few others went to the top of one of the Palaces on base and hit a few golf balls into the lake.  Needless to say, Doug thinks he needs to practice a little on his swing.



At the same time he was hitting golf balls into the water he was talked into running in the Disney Half Marathon.  He felt he was prepared to run 13 miles this last Saturday by not running in the last 3-4 months.  The stinky thing about this story is that he was able to run the first 5 or 6 miles without a problem.  Only after the 6 mile mark did his knee decide that it wasn't up to running anymore.  Now us mere mortals would have figured that you would need to train up to such an event.  Not my husband, he is upset that he couldn't run the entire length.  Now he is on a mission to complete a half marathon.  It should take him a few weeks to work up to it. 



Half My Heart is in Iraq

There are so many products, saying, and memorabilia peddled to the military members and families that it seems sometimes that everything is a cliche.  So when I first encountered this saying on t-shirts, mugs, bumper stickers, and anything else you could plaster it on I thought it was kinda bitter sweet.  One of those almost adolescent sentiments that makes girls say "Ahhhh" in that wistful way. For the life of me, I could not begin to comprehend the feeling these words invoke.

You see, it is like my heart literally has been torn in half and he carries part of it with him.  He is never out of my thoughts or dreams, prayers or wishes.  To the point that I feel like an open wound walking around, just barely able to put a dressing on it so I can live a "normal" life.  Most of the time I don't think I adequately cover the hole that is left. 

And the knowledge that this is temporary does not seem to make it hurt less.  Yes, I know he is doing his job and I am more proud than words can express.  Yes, six months is a short time to be apart considering the length of time other military families are separated.  Yes, he is as safe and secure as one can be in such conditions.  Yes, he is having some amazing experiences while he is away.  But no, this does not make it any easier for me.  I repeat these things to myself, to others who ask how I am doing, and to my children when they need to be reassured.  But to say that these facts lessen any of the longing I have to be with my husband would be a lie. 

And this truly surprises me.  Doug and I have done the ships passing in the night for years and years.  It has only really been since arriving in San Antonio that he has been able to be a fully active part of the family.  Throughout his education we tried to have as much family time as possible but the reality was not much was possible.  The boys and I have carried on in those absences and I assumed this would be much the same.  Silly, silly girl that I am.

I don't know if this gets easier, when this gets easier, or if I even want it to get easier.  All I know is that I take one day at a time and sometimes one hour at a time.  Doing my best.

I don't write for sympathy, but for purging.  And maybe someday these words will help someone else who feels the same.  For I know that I will make it.  That my love will come home.  That we will hug, kiss, laugh, fight, tell stories and stupid jokes.....that we will live life.  But just now I wait.

A Deployment Christmas

Since I view this blog as more of a family journal than anything, I figured that I was allowed to share how hard it is to be away from the one you love at this holiday time.  I admire those spouses who seem to take every deployment in stride, but I don't seem to be one of them.  All I what for Christmas is my husband home.



News from Doug

There is a lot of experiences that Doug has that he either can't share or only share parts.  We call these his secret squirrel experiences.  But once in a while I get quite a few details.  Here is a picture and his explanation of it.

This picture was taken on the roof of the incomplete 500,000 sq ft Presidential Palace near Baghdad International Airport (built courtesy of the American tax dollars sent in the "Food for Oil" program...) and the building in the background is called Perfume Palace, built for Saddam's mistress who became his second wife.  She never lived in it.

Grampy, Doug wanted me to make sure you knew that the uniform he is wearing is the Army's ACU's.  He has to have special Air Force tags made but he is allowed to wear it because he is assigned to an Army unit.  Also he can't wear the unit patch on his uniform because of more secret squirrel stuff.

Lackland Air Show

This year we had to attend the air show without Doug.  During this little family outing I learned an important fact about myself.  I know less than nothing about planes.  I love them, but don't ask me anything about them.  So to say the air show experience was a little lacking without Doug's aeronautical insights would be an understatement.  The boys were happy when they remembered that dad would be here next year to fill them in on everything airplane related.

We were able to stop off at the USO booth and make a video and sign a special banner that will go to Doug.  I am so excited for him to get it.

The boys really enjoyed the displays Security Forces (military police) had set up.  Nate and Danny did the army crawl (well kinda). 

Matt tried on the "light" pack that the P.J.'s use when they train.  It was only 40 or 45 pounds.

Aren't they handsome????

Deployment

I know that every deployment is different as the people who deploy and those they leave behind.  And although at this time I don't seem to have the right words, I do want to remember.