Hello all. In the tradition of this time of year, I’ve decided to send out a State of the Douglas Address. Now, for those that are worried this will become a political speech, do not fret. I just figure since I’ve continued my lifelong tradition of doing a poor job of keeping in touch this is to let everyone know how things are going. Of course, in today’s always-connected world it begs the question, why haven’t you been paying attention to Facebook?
So, how’s Iraq, you ask? Well, we’ll get there. But first, let’s look at how I got here. Way back in October, I flew to the City of Brotherly Love and then hopped a shuttle to the Garden State in order to spend the next 10 days at Fort Dix learning everything necessary to survive in any combat situation possible. Okay, fine, it was to learn enough basic combat skills so as not to embarrass myself while around those that DO know everything necessary to survive any combat situation. We all worked hard and learned a lot, sometimes painfully. Like the day we spent on Urban Ops and my fire team somehow left their #4 rear sweep man out in the street with the bad buys. Yep, I was the number 4 man. I mean, really?!! When you’re one of four, you only need to remember 3 others and you forget the one guarding your back – poor form. Needless to say I was captured by the insurgents. During our debrief everyone thought they did really well until the insurgents (our Cadre) brought me out at gunpoint. Good thing they were paint guns. Yep, they still didn’t realize I was gone – ah, yes, the fog of war bit us hard! The Cadre therefore gave us the opportunity to enjoy a “morale march” in true Groucho Marx style in full battle rattle – makes the thighs burn!
We seemed to learn well from our mistakes and on the last day our flight was one of the top teams during the final full-on simulation. After graduation, I snuck home for a couple of days so I could enjoy time with family and, most importantly, ordain Matt to the Priesthood. Matt had turned 12 two days after I left for my training. Then it was back to New Jersey to wait several days for a flight to Norfolk, where I got to wait for several more days. There’s not much worse than being alone on a naval base over a long holiday weekend with no transportation. Mind-numbingly boring doesn’t come close. Thankfully my brother Tyler and his family were able to visit from Raleigh. We spent time at the docks looking at some big boats, watching the newest carrier, the USS George Bush, being parked next to the oldest carrier, the USS Enterprise. Time was spent hanging out and holding hands with my rambunctious nephews and the visit ended with Tyler and I making holes in targets with handguns. Overall, not a bad way to sit and do nothing – thanks younger Bro!
I finally left on a jet plane with 400 of my, um, closest friends and made an uncomfortable midnight flight to Sheffield, Ireland at which time we were all invited to disembark and go through customs. All 400 of us. And yes, we had to take off our boots, just to sit in a rather large waiting area which luckily had WiFi capabilities. The only problem was it had no capabilities to support 400 soldiers trying to connect at the same time. Oh, well, just another uncomfortable 4 hours waiting, and then squished back into the plane for the long flight to Qatar. Landed about midnight, processed in and couldn’t sleep, despite having been up for well over 36 hours. So, I grabbed the laptop and enjoyed the amazing night time desert smell while chatting with Kristen. A couple days rest, another uncomfortable flight in a C130 with more passengers than seats and SrA Tamisha Glenn fetched me out of my holding room in Baghdad, Iraq.
Now, to answer the question, how’s Iraq? Right now it’s cold, wet and muddy – winter is the rainy season. For those that want to know what I’m doing here, I’ll be brief. Actually, I have to be brief since I can’t tell you too much. My official job is to train, advise and assist the Iraqi dentists that support the Iraqi Special Forces. Unfortunately for me, we’ve been doing this for several years and I’ve had some wonderful predecessors that have taken a run-down facility with eager but poorly equipped and trained dentists and have turned it into perhaps the highest tech facility with the best trained Iraqi staff in the country. There’s not a lot for me to do, which isn’t helped by my natural inability to be a good-idea-dude and general lack of administration skills. However, we’re doing the best possible, I’m learning a lot and enjoying the experience. I also spend a few hours each week working on American soldiers at the American Dental Clinic. It actually seems like I end up working with my Medical Advisor counterpart more often than not – who knew gunshot wounds (in Iraqi soldiers) could be so much fun! My favorite was the one that entered at the back of the neck and exited his chin. I got to diagnose and emergent treat a broken jaw. Opps, I mean train, advise and assist the Iraqis on how to treat a broken jaw. It’s definitely expanding my medical knowledge and training. Unfortunately, that’s about all I can tell you about what, where, how and why we do.
I’m able to attend church here weekly. Although we have enough on this base to form a branch, because of its physical size, we’re split into a couple of groups. Apparently not everyone has exclusive use of a brand new Ford F150 Crew Cab to make the 15 minute drive to church. We have about 10-15 members each week, depending on missions, with about half from one Guard Unit from Utah that works in my area. Who’d have guessed, a bunch of reservist military from Utah are Mormon!
One of the bad things about being here this time of year is I’m missing out on all the “free” vacation time, especially since we work 7 days a week with Friday being a “slow-down” day. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and now MLK. At least all the activities provided by the military, USO and Iraqi leadership do a good job of entertaining and reminding us were 7000 miles away from family and friends. For a while it seemed like every week there was yet another famous performer or group passing though. Robin Williams, Tops in Blue, Joan Jett, Lance Armstrong, Hooter’s girls, and the list goes on. I wasn’t able to make it to many shows (see work schedule above) but it’s greatly appreciated.
One thing we do often is go out to the range and shoot some seriously cool weapons, and I’m not talking about just the regular military issue M9 and M4/M16 either. Things like the 240 Bravo, SAW, silenced MP9, hand-held mortar launcher, and my favorite thus far would have to be the HMMWV (hum-vee) mounted mini-gun. Oh, yea, 3000 rounds per minute, with tracers. Not to worry, video was taken and will be shown when I return, complete with my goofy grin – sorry, I can’t send it electronically.
Perhaps the most rewarding event was when I helped out during a Wounded Warriors event. This is a program to help the healing process and re-integration of wounded soldiers. 7 American soldiers that left Iraq on their backs with various life-threatening injuries and flown out of Iraqi strapped to a medical bird were brought back by the non-profit organization Wounded Warriors Project, in coordination with the military. They were all amazing guys and fun to be around. During their time with us, they were shown a couple of amazing demonstrations then the guys took them out to the range and let them “blow s--- up” for an hour. You should’ve seen the smiles, and not just from the Wounded Warriors!
Let’s see, I guess I would be remiss in not recounting my tale of stupidity. So, for New Year’s Day, some JAGs, the Medical Advisor and I went to hit golf balls into a lake from the roof of one of Saddam’s palaces. No, that’s not the stupid part. While there, I was invited to run with them at the Disney half-marathon - in a week. I laughed and said ‘Sure, why not?’ After all, I’ve been doing my little P90X workout every day and haven’t run a step since September, what could possibly go wrong? Thus begins the stupidity. Why does my brain keep thinking I’m 20 when my body constantly reminds me I’m, um, no longer 20? So, I start the 13.1 mile slog with about 500 other insane people and about 5 miles in I start thinking, hey, this isn’t so bad even if my hamstring won’t loosen up. Then my left knee decided to start ache. At mile 6 I realized I was slowing down because it no longer ached. My knee hurt. I started to do the walk/run thing for about 2 miles and when even that started to hurt, I walked for a mile, ran about 800 meters and had to walk another mile, tried again and got about 100 feet and my knee pretty much gave out. I ended up walking/limping the rest of the event and couldn’t walk straight for several days. Luckily I did no permanent damage to my knee; it was just aggravated from a very minor patella plica (synovial fold behind the kneecap). Just to top off my shame of walking nearly half the event, one of the JAG we golfed with beat all the Ugandans and won the event outright. So now I’m thinking of how to avenge my stupidity, by properly running a half-marathon. I just need to work on my knee’s endurance and actually stretching beforehand. Yep, I think this is what’s called Pride before the Fall. I’m sure this cannot end well.
If you’ve stuck with me this long without switching channels, you are to be congratulated. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year’s. I think I speak for all of those deployed when I say your support, letters, e-mails, Facebook messages and news from home are greatly appreciated. While watching your favorite Super Bowl commercial this year, please raise a cold, frosty mug of root beer for all our deployed troops, and know I’m excited to see what Valentino Rossi does on the Ducati but I hope home-town Texan Ben Spies hands him his butt on the Yamaha!
//SIGNED//
Capt Douglas Holmes
SOITT Dental Advisor, Baghdad, Iraq
